Okay, I'm deeply offended. They say 60 is the new fifty but now I've learned that size 10 is the new size 20. Bah humbug. Onthis morning's Today show a model, Crystal (right there you have to be suspect), was morally and psychologically assaulted by a photographer who touched up her photo TO MAKE HER LOOK SKINNIER!!!

It seems that Crystal, a recovering anorexic, is a plus-size model and proud of it. Kudos, I thought to myself, she's a big girl and she flaunts it. Then it turns out that this plus-sized model is a size TEN. Yes, ten. Having become ---in post baby excess and truth be told food excess --a size 16 and carrying it around for oh, say 20 years afterwards, I worked hard to downsize after seeing pictures of me at my son's wedding. AGGGHHH I said to myself. So, with proper diet (read: no food) and exercise (after scare tactics by my doctor were employed) I have gotten down to a size 10. I felt good about that. But now I'm told I'm really still in the "plus" category.

I know I'll never get back into my wedding dress. In fact, I use that dress as a kitchen tea towel now, marveling from time to time that a human being actually once fit into that dress. But I can live with 10- and even 12 if necessary. There are other things I have a harder time adjusting to (see blog on Nora Ephron's Neck) but size 10? No problem.

Laszlo's getting bigger

Well, we hit up Tyson's playground again as the heatwave continues. The playground is chaotic but Laz loves it and he loves wandering around Tyson's popping into stores. While Mom and Dad shopped Nana K and Laz hit Dairy Queen. Then home to Nana K's for a bath and playing with new wagon. Once again my video clips are too big and won't upload. I'll learn eventually. Ya think?

April and July before and after

These kids grow fast . Thought the before and after shot would be fun.

More pictures of the Georgia Kearns'

After listening to complaints from great-grandmother Suzie, I am now posting more pics of baby Max et al.

Nora Ephron's neck

I brought a slew of books on tape for my ride to and from Georgia last week: Ephron's "Too bad about my neck" and other stories of the life of a woman was one of them. Nora's early career and mine shadowed each others until she pulled out ahead and became famous, sticking to her writing through 3 husbands, a couple of movies and much more. She was at Newsweek about 4 years before me. Anyway, I don't hold any of that against her, especially when I listened to her account of her neck and nodded knowingly as she described the variations on the neck theme. She recounts sitting around a lunch table with her friends of a certain age, all dressed in either turtlenecks or abundantly wrapped in scarves. Nora, my dear, I figured out years ago that to put a turtleneck on only pushes the layers of neck up and around, but doesn't hide it. Better to do what the grande dames did. I once went to a reception with a then much older Boston brahmin woman with last names they used to name towns after in New England. She wore an open collar shirt (silk) with AT LEAST 10 strands of pearls surrounding the length of her neck. Pearls do an incredible job of covering up that neck. Maybe the weight of all those pearls irons out the folds temporarily. The key is to stick your nose as high into the air as possible, stretching out your neck to the max.I always thought those women were just being snooty. They aren't. They're coping with their necks.

Speaking of necks. You may feel a little smug about how youthful your face looks. You may even succeed in hiding that hideous neck. But the tell, as they say in poker, is in the hands. Recently I had to shave a few years (10) off my resume to have even the slightest chance of getting a job. so I did the pearl thing, my face was okay, but then as I applied make up I saw these two horrific creatures - my hands - in the mirror. I put make up on my hands to cover the liver spots but the result was only so-so. During interviews I kept my hands out of view.

Of course, the best way to cope with all of this is again to follow Nora's number one rule - a rule I follow religiously. Never, never look in the mirror.

What to do with Laszlo in 100 degree weather

Well, when Johanna was that age, I'd take her to the very air conditioned Tyson's Corner mall to look at the birds in the aviary so...before I went to Georgia I had the pleasure of Laszlo's company for two days, two very very hot days. I remembered a Discover-designed playground inside the renovated Tyson's mall- 36 years later and still a life saver. He went bananas, running all around, climbing up and down slides, learning to hold his own with older, wilder kids. The playground is really life in microcosm - all races and nationalities, some bigger kids pushing little ones around and the little ones have to decide - stand my ground or move aside. Laszlo is a stand my ground kind of guy. Grandpa Popi was appalled by the chaos but Laszlo held his own. One dad looked at his son who was cowering in the corner, hoping not to get run over by the big guys. It's a good place to toughen them up for the real world.
Unfortunately, I only had my cell phone with me so i have no pictures, just older ones taken in June. In any case, Laszlo zipped around that zoo at such a clip it would have been reckless of me to take my eye off him for one minute. As I posted earlier, he likes to walk around and pop into the stores, accost young
girls in strollers and so forth. I took him there again yesterday where he was once again king of all he surveyed.

Grannys just want to have fun

Of course, still recovering from my relaxing weekend in Georgia, my first instinct was to go to bed early - that would be the sensible thing to do. But, inspired by a Nora Ephron book on tape I listed to on the way home, I realized life is short. As Paula Dean said on her show yesterday: life is short. eat dessert first. Amen. Anyway, Wednesday night Johanna and I headed to the red carpet opening of We the Pizza Spike Mendelsohn opened next door to his oh so good Good Stuff Eatery. Despite trying my pizza from New Haven, Spike elected to go more NY style but really more Spike style. The result is great crust with the freshest, most flavorful ingredients such as porcini mushrooms drizzled with truffle oil, fresh artichoke hearts, etc. When you've had enough, then there's the gelati....mmmm good. Unsung hero of this successful opening is Spike's amazing sister Micheline-center- couldn't get a good picture because she was running around all night- who handles his PR and decor while juggling an almost new (9 mos) baby Katherine. Hat's off (no pun intended Spike) to Micheline and Spike and the new We the Pizza which will officially open on the 19th (he says).

I'm still getting the hang of these postings. The last posts were of Max, Jo, Karolina and baby Max, who Jo called Million - that would be nice...

Karolina sat on the dock feeding the dogs and the fish, but the dogs - Tom Charlie and Jackie Chan were definitely the beneficiaries of K's largesse. Mary, Sue, Tom and Larry all relaxed by the lake and at 9 we hit the lake to view the fireworks. Very laid back and enjoyable. Larry BBQ'd chicken, everyone brought a dish, Jo and Karolina made a delicious Strawberry Shortcake and Jenna's Chris a delicious blackberry cobble which we all had for breakfast.

Fourth of July in Georgia

Well, Murphy's law prevails. Neil finally went out and bought an expensive adapter so I could download my pictures, having lost my download cord. Next day (yesterday) the cord turned up! So now I have 178 pictures to download, rotate and caption... These pictures are from my trip to Jasper and Grandview Georgia to see Max, Jo, and of course Karolina and little Max.

Update on the Kearns clan

Well, three months have passed since posting my first blog in honor of baby Max's birth March 24th. I will have pictures to post soon but in the meantime I need to provide verbal updates:

Laszlo Batzdorff Kearns is running around like a maniac - he loves climbing up slides rather than sliding down them but when he does slide, he does it with abandon. He is also uttering lots of words, not sure whether in Spanish or English, but he now says hello as well as hola - good since nana k's knowledge of Spanish vanished years ago. He amused an old Chinese couple at the mall last week by walking into and out of stores, goosestep style, and then looking up at them with his big blue eyes as if to say - and what do you think is so funny? They cracked up.
He held his own against bigger kids at the Discovery play area at the mall - my new found oasis on 100 degree days!!

Karolina Kearns just finished her first year at school - it was, as expected, a breeze. She's very nonchalant about her school performance. Nevertheless, she's been placed in the GT program. Yes, I AM an obnoxious grandmother who DOES brag about my brilliant grandchildren. She's a fish in water, loves it, and spent the 4th weekend in her other grandma's pool and at the lake, fearlessly jumping off the dock. And that leads me to...

Baby Max, or as Joanna wrote, Millian. He is now 3 months old and a character so sweet -- all smiles, tries to talk to you, has dimples - that makes 3 for 3 grandkids with dimples! He loves his big sister and is fascinated by her constant motion and dancing and singing. I predict he will be moving around sooner than we think. He is very aware of everything that goes around him - and he loves the water almost as much as his big sister.

I'm exhausted and back at work, looking forward to seeing all of them soon. Pictures to come soon.