Last night I took this one final picture of this year's tree, knowing that I planned to take it down today and dump it unceremoniously in the trash. This morning I overslept only to see that the work had been done for me. This is highly unusual as I am usually the only one to a. pick out the tree, b. transport it home c. put it up, d. decorate it, and finally, e. dismember it. This year I couldn't get into the holiday spirit. Stress at work, Dad's passing, general fatigue. I guess the week before Christmas, seeing my reluctance to go nuts and decorate as I usually do, Rob went out, got the tree, and put the lights on it. Most years, I put up two trees. You can never have enough Christmas trees, I said. And to further the spirit of Christmas, I'd bake till I dropped. This year I didn't make one Christmas cookie and it still took me a week to put the decorations up, just in time for Christmas eve, when kids and grandson Laszlo were coming over. Johanna was visibly disappointed to come over and not find one cookie. I thought all the kids were tired of my cookies. Anyway, I did do the Buttermilk poundcake with creme anglais and the pumpkin bread, both Christmas traditions. I just scaled down a bit and I have to say it was one of the most stress-free Christmases we had.
I owed a proper holiday to Laz and, to be fair, we went down to Jasper to see our other beautiful and brilliant grandchildren -- Karolina and Maximillian-- bear gifts, and celebrate. I think the week before that I was in Connecticut visiting Mommy Sioux. I guess you can only do so much while holding down a fulltime job, before wearing out. No complaints here. With unemployment where it is, I thanks Gott for my job and my friends at work.
Anyway, once the tree was up and lighted it was like a warm blanket around my shoulders. Every night after work my first act coming home was to plug in the tree and bask in its glow.
What is it about the tree? I remember years ago looking up the custom of trees in houses. The norse started it, I believe, by putting a tree on TOP of a newly built house to signify its completion. When it was moved inside is another unsolved mystery. I imagine in those early inside years, lighting the tree with candles was a boon to the new housing market, as these trees go up light firecrackers with an intense heat that immediately rages out of control. Witness all those fires out west.
I was talking to Neil today about the magic my grandparents put into Christmas. We'd pick out the tree in the woods on Christmas eve, Papa Joel would cut it down and put it up in their living room. It remained undecorated as the grownups partied well into the night but we nestled in our beds with visions of sugar plums. During the night Kris Kringle and his elves would not only bring presents but decorate the tree to magical perfection. I did that when my kids were little but somewhere along the way I started stretching that holiday season from the day after Thanksgiving to the second week in January.
Anyway, it's no coincidence that a lot of diverse holiday customs include lights, a ceremony of lights, tree lights, etc. The winter solstice was once thought to be the beginning of the end. The sun was dying so lets light all these candles and coax the sun to return. Of course, after the 21st the days did start to get longer and a tradition was born.
So maybe that's why we are sometimes reluctant to put out the lights and toss the tree. Those lights symbolize a better day to come, hope, future yadayadayada, and to toss the tree is to say, well maybe 2011 isn't going to be better than 2010. My friend and I were those slackers who not only had our wreaths on the door until Easter, but those wreaths competed with the rotting pumpkin from Halloween. Sometimes it's hard to face forward but what the hell, in Dad's memory, I'm going to give it my best shot.
Now let the magic of spring begin. Au revoir my little christmas tree.
